


TentaTodd 2020: Day 7: Free Day - Don't Trust the Panda

by elwon



Series: TentaTodd [18]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Crack, Flirting, Jason being oblivious, M/M, Ranma 1/2 fusion, Tentacles, Tumblr: Tentatodd Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:29:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23736148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elwon/pseuds/elwon
Summary: The appendages forcing their way out under Jason’s jacket are more like tentacles. And he definitely didn’t have those before going into the water. Dick knows Gotham Bay’s reputation, but even this seems a little much.(Jason has a little problem after visiting a legendary training ground in China. Dick doesn’t find it a problem though.)
Relationships: Jason Todd/Dick Grayson
Series: TentaTodd [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1272866
Comments: 12
Kudos: 156





	TentaTodd 2020: Day 7: Free Day - Don't Trust the Panda

Dick tries not to roll his eyes as the wave of League of Assassin ninjas push past the warehouse and out onto the docks, towards the ship they arrived on. In the distance he can hear the other bats fighting off the stragglers. He spots Red Hood over by the wooden docks, throwing punches and dodging kicks with a speed that belies his bulk. But Dick’s heart still skips a beat when he sees Jason thrown out into the deep cold waters of the Gotham Bay.

He’s pushing towards the dock when Jason explodes out of the water, thoroughly soaked, kicking and punching the ninjas like a whirlwind. He deflects and throws them easily. When did Jason have so many arms that he can take out ten assailants in one smooth turn? Except, Dick realises, those aren’t arms. Not _human_ arms. The appendages forcing their way out under Jason’s jacket are more like tentacles. And he _definitely_ didn’t have those before going into the water. Dick knows Gotham Bay’s reputation, but even this seems a little much.

By the time Dick’s finished with his own last few ninjas, and their ship has departed; Jason’s still dripping wet, appendages waving gently in the breeze while the other bats gawk at them. 

“What? How? Can I touch them?” Tim says, as Jason stalks over to the batmobile, and pulls out at thermos flask which Dick knows is full of hot chocolate. Instead of drinking it, Jason dumps the open flask all over himself. The change is immediate; the tentacles vanish in a single shudder.

“No. None of your fucking business. You even try, and you’ll lose your hands.” Jason says, voice tinny through the helmet. Dick’s pretty sure he’s glaring at them all underneath it.

“Hood.” Batman grinds his jaw in a way that makes Dick’s teeth ache. Bruce’s going to ruin his dental implants if he keeps that grinding up. “You should return to the cave. We need to investigate... This.”

“No.” Jason tenses up. “I know what they are. I know how to control them. I don’t need help.”

“But...” Tim moves forward, his hands up and reaching out. “We really should investigate them, Hood.”

“OK! You know what? If Hood says he’s got this under control, then he’s got this under control!” Dick interjects before Bruce’s well meaning but totally inept people skills causes this conversation to devolve into an argument that results in Jason disappearing for _another_ month or two.

Bruce whirls around to glare at him, and Dick gives him the tiny signal for ‘I’ve got this one’. Bruce nods almost imperceptibly. “Red Robin, we’re done for the night.”

“But!” Tim says again, and Dick sends him a sympathetic smile.

“Now.” Bruce grits out between his teeth, getting into the car. “Or should I tell Robin that you’re patrolling his territory all alone?”

“Uncalled for.” Red Robin mutters as he slips into the passenger seat of the batmobile. The doors close, and the powerful car zooms away, leaving Dick alone with Jason.

“Don’t start.” Jason says, shaking off the now cooled hot chocolate. “I don’t want to hear it.”

“So... The Spring of the Drowned Octopus?” Dick grins, closing the distance between them.

“What?” Jason’s lenses turn to focus on him. “How would an _octopus_ drown? They literally live in water.”

“Well, you’ve clearly been to Jusenkyo...” Dick throws his arms over Jason’s solid, wide shoulders, stepping in closer than Jason usually allows him to. 

“How...” Jason trails off. “It wasn’t an octopus... You know about Jusenkyo? My tentacles disappearing with hot water was a dead giveaway, huh?”

“I might have been there.” Dick shrugs. “I did a whole tour of the world, training in places, too. It’s not so weird that I’ve been to the cursed martial arts training ground in China. I got the whole tour!” 

“I never shoulda trusted that fucking panda...” Jason sighs regretfully.

“Yeah, I almost slipped right by the spring of the Drowned Girl because of that shady sign carrying panda. It was a hell of a weird trip.” Dick nods. The place had made Arkham seem downright sane in comparison, what with the martial artists sparring all over the place. Dick remembers dodging a red-haired girl who’d been fighting against a black piglet, of all things! 

“And it’s just my luck you didn’t fall in.” Jason sighs, turning away from Dick to start walking towards his bike. “It was the spring of the drowned Hentai monster. Which is a thing. Because of course it is.”

“Oh. My.” Dick says, barely managing to bite back his utter glee. “Really?”

“’Wing... Don’t.” Jason warns, lifting a hand to give Dick a warning finger wag.

“Don’t what?” Dick inquires, all faux innocence. Even without the enticing prospects of that many appendages used on his willing and eager body, there’s so many things he could do and say on this situation. 

“Whatever you’re about to say.” Jason snarls. “Don’t.”

“I was only going to offer you a shower at my place.” Dick shrugs, catching up with Jason. “Hot or cold, totally your call."

“Why would it be cold?” Jason says, turning to look at Dick, sounding puzzled.

“Well... If it’s cold, you could show me those uh, appendages again?” Dick says, waggling his eyebrows under his mask. 

“Tentacles.” Jason mutters, shoulders tensing and relaxing. “And why would I do that?”

“So you can use them on me?” Dick points out shamelessly. “Because I would really enjoy that.”

“Uh.”Jason says intelligently. Dick can only hope he’s picturing it and liking the image.

“What?” Dick shrugs, trying for casual, even though finally getting Jason’s interest means a lot to him. “I mean, I guess you could just have a nice proper hot shower... I’m absolutely not going to push if you’re not interested.”

“Since when have _you_ been interested?” Jason says, the surprise bleeding through the helmet’s voice modulator.

“For several months, now. Thanks for noticing.” Dick sighs, resisting the urge to facepalm.

“I noticed! I thought you were teasing.” Jason rolls his shoulders, and with the helmet on it’s the only sign Dick really has that Jason’s uncomfortable talking about this. “Lots of people tease. Or banter. They’re not serious.”

“Uh. Hood?” Dick says, with a sudden horrifying realisation. Jason doesn’t _know_! That explains so much, and it’s more than a little sad. “They’re serious. Those people? They’re flirting with you. Seriously.”

“What? No, they’re not.” Jason says, and even through the helmet Dick can hear his aghast tone. “They’re not... Oh, fuck my life, they’ve _all_ been flirting with me?”

“Yup.” Dick nods, watching Jason’s shoulders sink under that heavy leather jacket. “You really didn’t realise?”

"No.” Jason says, looking away, and Dick thinks he’s probably embarrassed. “I’ve only got eyes for one person. Whatever anyone else does hasn’t ever mattered.”

“Lucky them.” Dick tries to keep the bitterness from his tone, and mostly manages. “ _I’ve_ been trying to get you to date me for months!”

“You.” Jason blurts out, grabbing Dick’s wrist and dragging him with him.

Dick lets himself be moved a few paces as his mind whirls with the possible idea that Jason’s actually interested in him back, before he speaks up. “Me? Wait, me as in, me?"

“Only since I was about twelve.” Jason mutters quietly. “You said you were flirting with me. And now we’re going to shower.”

“OK, wait!” Dick says, digging his heels into the dilapidated wood of the docks.

“What the fuck now?” Jason says spinning to look at Dick, frustration rolling off him in waves. “You said you wanted to!”

“I do!” Dick smiles widely, lifting his free hand to point in the other direction. “But your bike is that way. It’s a good job I came by the rooftops.”

“Oh.” Jason clears his throat nervously. “Right.” He changes direction, walking faster and Dick’s dragged after him happily, right onto the pillion of his bike. 

“Relax, Jason.” Dick whispers. “We’re going to have fun, and you can show me exactly how many of those tentacles you have.”

“I’ve got enough.” Jason growls. “More than enough for you.”

“I can’t wait to meet them.” Dick wraps his arms around Jason’s torso, holding on tight. He presses his belly to the spot that the tentacles seemed to come out from; and he knows it’s only his imagination, but he could swear he feels a little bump there. But that’s not how the springs of Jusenkyo work. You’re in one form or the other, no exceptions.

“Fuck, I’m gonna _wreck_ you.” Jason grits out darkly, and Dick feels a thrill go through him. Thoughts and ideas of exactly what Jason can do to him with all those tentacles, how they could hold him entirely at Jason’s mercy makes the blood heat up in his veins.

“Promises, promises, Jay.” Dick says, laughing as he gets the last word in before Jason guns his bike, and they tear away from the docks at high speed towards Dick’s closest safehouse.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that's it for this year's TentaTodd Week! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. :)


End file.
